{"id":26975,"date":"2017-07-24T12:00:09","date_gmt":"2017-07-24T12:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hughesmarino.com\/orange-county\/?p=26975"},"modified":"2017-07-21T23:19:43","modified_gmt":"2017-07-21T23:19:43","slug":"a-dozen-reliable-tips-raising-amazing-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hughesmarino.com\/orange-county\/blog\/2017\/07\/24\/a-dozen-reliable-tips-raising-amazing-children\/","title":{"rendered":"A Dozen Reliable Tips For Raising Amazing Children"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>By Shay Hughes<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Last month I was asked to present to a room full of executives on advice that has been valuable in my life and could be of value to others. Considering the room was almost entirely full of men, I chose to speak on a slightly unconventional topic that I thought pertinent given the timing of our youngest son\u2019s graduation from USC\u2019s Master\u2019s program just a few days prior.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">By way of background, I won the lottery when it comes to our children. My husband, Jason, and I have three adult children ages 26, 24, and 22, and all three are absolutely stellar people and role models. I wish I could take credit for them being as amazing as they are, but there is a lot more that comes into play than just nature and nurture. The fact that they are all impeccable adults is something that, in the end, they deserve all the credit for achieving. People ask me all the time, \u201cWhat did you do to raise such amazing children \u2013 and not just one, but all three?\u201d There is no easy answer to this, but as I presented to the room that day, I tried to sum up nearly 27 years of parenting in to 12 simple, albeit powerful, tips.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Treat your children like adults.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0We have always been transparent with our children, sharing with them perhaps more than others would think is savvy, and looking to them for their wise counsel. Even at a young age, we talked to them about everything \u2013 from business to money to serious problems people face like addiction \u2013 so they learned how the world works and knew we had no secrets. We never hid anything from our children, even when others thought we should shelter them from challenges or tough times.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Invest in your home.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0Neither my husband nor I lived in one house as we grew up, and we really wanted that for our children. My husband\u2019s family was foreclosed on numerous times in his childhood, and my family moved so often that I went to 11 different schools in 11 years. Having a house that our children could grow up in and call their home base was important to us, so we stretched to buy our dream property where we\u2019ve lived for almost 19 years. Now as empty nesters, we are swimming in extra space, but we\u2019d have a mutiny on our hands if we tried to sell the family home.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Travel.\u00a0<\/b><\/span>Traveling with our family is the single best financial investment we made in raising our children. From driving a 40-foot motorhome all over the western U.S. over two summers, to taking three young children to Europe, lugging suitcases on trains and traveling to 11 countries in nine days, our family\u2019s love of travel started at a young age. To this day, it is one of the things we still do as a family that binds us together, but the adventures have only gotten even more fun over the years.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Together we\u2019ve visited more than 60 countries. Nothing beats time away with your family experiencing something new together.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Have an unlimited budget for books<\/b><\/span>\u00a0\u2013 and really anything else learning related. The wonderful thing about this is there are countless free resources online, including thousands of free books on Amazon. We never said no to our children when it came to spending money on anything related to education, and for that, our children have been voracious readers and always had a deep love of learning.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Focus on what matters most and don\u2019t do everything.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0For us, two things matter: family and our company. As a new parent, we initially wanted to get involved in everything \u2013 from coaching soccer to being room mom, volunteering and going to charity events. Then we realized that all of those things we were doing \u201cfor\u201d our children were actually taking us away \u201cfrom\u201d our children. So we scaled back and focused on being present with our children and participating in things that were with them, not just for them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Trust your gut.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0No one knows your children better than you do. My advice is to not take other people\u2019s word for something. If it feels off to you \u2013 whether it\u2019s a doctor, teacher, or coach \u2013 it probably is. Your gut instinct is made up of millions of decisions your brain is processing, and it is almost always right, but ultimately you must be in tune with it in order to be able to listen to your gut.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Say no \u2013 even when it\u2019s not popular.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0Over the years, there were some unpopular decisions we made that other parents frowned upon, but we knew we had to do what was right for our children. There were limo rides to formals that we passed on and sleepovers that we missed because we didn\u2019t trust everyone else to do what was right. It didn\u2019t always feel good to make those decisions, but in hindsight, those decisions were spot on.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s3\"><b>Have dinner together every night (that you can) as a family.<\/b><\/span><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0Even with adult children, this is still a priority for us whenever we are in the same city as our children, who now live in Los Angeles and San Diego. No one in our family likes to miss family dinners, even if it means a late drive home from one city to another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Parents, take time to nurture your own relationship.\u00a0<\/b><\/span>This is something we certainly could have done better when our children were young, but the reality is if you don\u2019t keep your parent relationship happy, then the lives of your children might be negatively impacted. Do everything you can to not let that happen. If life gets too busy, cut other things out, but always take care of each other, so you can take care of your children.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Make your children your whole world and they will in turn make you theirs.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0I believe that as parents, if you give everything you have to your children and make them the center of your universe, they will naturally want to do everything they can to make you proud in return. If I had to pick one of these lessons as the single most important one, this is it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s4\"><b>Be your child\u2019s best friend.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><span class=\"s5\">Growing up is hard. There is peer pressure, bullying, cliques, awkward stages in life, and people can be really mean \u2013 certainly other children, but even teachers and coaches. What children need the most is someone they can count on to be nice to them 100% of the time. To be their rock and their best friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"><b>Stay on track and constantly course correct, so you never veer too far from the straight and narrow path.\u00a0<\/b><\/span>Teach your children to do the same. Life isn\u2019t always a perfectly laid out plan that you stay on target one hundred percent of the time. Just like a ship navigating the seas, chart your path and stick as close to that line as possible, course correcting constantly, and never lose sight of the path you chose, so you ultimately arrive right where you were aiming.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">No doubt many of these ideas are ones that you might already do, or are familiar with, while others may look new and inviting. Try a few out for yourself and see how they work. I would love to hear what you think!<\/p>\n<p><em>This article originally appeared in <a href=\"https:\/\/csq.com\/2017\/07\/shay-hughes-reliable-tips-amazing-children\/#.WXJ5KdPytUN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CSQ Magazine<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last month I was asked to present to a room full of executives on advice that has been valuable in my life and could be of value to others. Considering the room was almost entirely filled with men, it was a bit unconventional to speak on the topic that I did, but I thought it pertinent to share given the timing of our youngest son\u2019s graduation from USC\u2019s Master\u2019s program just a few days prior.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":26994,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[71],"tags":[],"publication":[1059],"video_type":[],"coauthors":[1009],"class_list":["post-26975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","publication-csq-magazine"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - 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